Sunday, June 7, 2009
June: Body Image and the Beach
Another intimate alumni support meeting this week. And of course with the warming of summer emerged the universal topic of surviving the family beach trip (AARG!) with or without the nag of the ED voices (double AARG!). One alumna's solution: buy a new suit that you like and will make you feel good. What a brilliant idea. No low-self-esteem bathing suits this year. Another idea: Wear your "normal" body as a badge of your health. Thanks to those who joined and shared. It reminds me that Tapestry can be a place to drop in and feel safe. Blessed Be!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
MentorCONNECT
Tapestry is now a Care Partner for MentorCONNECT. Here is some information on this program that is available to you all as alumni of Tapestry:
* Membership is free.
* New members may apply as a mentee or as a mentor. You may also apply to have a mentor, and be a mentor, if you qualify (this often helps for new mentors who want some guidance themselves as they start to serve).
* They have a full volunteer staff of caring mentors in strong recovery that provide support and encouragement, and they assist with the mentor-mentee matching process.
* They have a wonderful Monday night live chat support group for all members that happens each Monday night at 8pm CST.
* Their Community Forums offer more than a dozen online themed support communities - we have a book study group, an art therapy discussion group where members post art, a recovery toolkit group, a new group called "Who Am I Without Ed?" and much more.
* Their Community Forums allow members to post recovery blogs, upload songs, videos, artwork, and music, chat and email with other members, and participate in group chat and the Monday night support group meeting.
* Their community is 100% pro-recovery and is moderated by Shannon Cutts and the MentorCONNECT Leadership Team.
* Each new member is issued a unique username and password and no one from outside the community will ever be able to access MentorCONNECT. This ensures that when you join MentorCONNECT, you have the same level of confidentiality, privacy and safety that you would enjoy in any support group or treatment center setting.
* If you have any questions while joining, you are welcome to email Shannon Cutts at mc@key-to-life.com.
Hope you take advantage of this support opportunity!
* Membership is free.
* New members may apply as a mentee or as a mentor. You may also apply to have a mentor, and be a mentor, if you qualify (this often helps for new mentors who want some guidance themselves as they start to serve).
* They have a full volunteer staff of caring mentors in strong recovery that provide support and encouragement, and they assist with the mentor-mentee matching process.
* They have a wonderful Monday night live chat support group for all members that happens each Monday night at 8pm CST.
* Their Community Forums offer more than a dozen online themed support communities - we have a book study group, an art therapy discussion group where members post art, a recovery toolkit group, a new group called "Who Am I Without Ed?" and much more.
* Their Community Forums allow members to post recovery blogs, upload songs, videos, artwork, and music, chat and email with other members, and participate in group chat and the Monday night support group meeting.
* Their community is 100% pro-recovery and is moderated by Shannon Cutts and the MentorCONNECT Leadership Team.
* Each new member is issued a unique username and password and no one from outside the community will ever be able to access MentorCONNECT. This ensures that when you join MentorCONNECT, you have the same level of confidentiality, privacy and safety that you would enjoy in any support group or treatment center setting.
* If you have any questions while joining, you are welcome to email Shannon Cutts at mc@key-to-life.com.
Hope you take advantage of this support opportunity!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
May's Theme: JUST GOOD OLD SUPPORT
We had a small, intimate support group this month. It seemed like the perfect coming together of individuals though, with some folks who are living the recovery process offering real life support and suggestions to some newbies in the world of recovery. It never ceases to amaze me the magic that happens when we share how we have made it through the challenges. Thanks for those who were present. Enjoy the blooming of May!
Next Alumni Support Group: Sunday, June 7th, 4:00-5:30pm
Next Alumni Support Group: Sunday, June 7th, 4:00-5:30pm
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Turn Your Thinking Upside Down
Turn Your Thinking Upside Down
By Pema Chödrön
On a very basic level all beings think that they should be happy. When life becomes difficult or painful, we feel that something has gone wrong. This wouldn’t be a big problem except for the fact that when we feel something’s gone wrong, we’re willing to do anything to feel OK again. Even start a fight.
According to the Buddhist teachings, difficulty is inevitable in human life. For one thing, we cannot escape the reality of death. But there are also the realities of aging, of illness, of not getting what we want, and of getting what we don’t want. These kinds of difficulties are facts of life. Even if you were the Buddha himself, if you were a fully enlightened person, you would experience death, illness, aging, and sorrow at losing what you love. All of these things would happen to you. If you got burned or cut, it would hurt.
But the Buddhist teachings also say that this is not really what causes us misery in our lives. What causes misery is always trying to get away from the facts of life, always trying to avoid pain and seek happiness—this sense of ours that there could be lasting security and happiness available to us if we could only do the right thing.
In this very lifetime we can do ourselves and this planet a great favor and turn this very old way of thinking upside down. As Shantideva, author of Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, points out, suffering has a great deal to teach us. If we use the opportunity when it arises, suffering will motivate us to look for answers. Many people, including myself, came to the spiritual path because of deep unhappiness. Suffering can also teach us empathy for others who are in the same boat. Furthermore, suffering can humble us. Even the most arrogant among us can be softened by the loss of someone dear.
Yet it is so basic in us to feel that things should go well for us, and that if we start to feel depressed, lonely, or inadequate, there’s been some kind of mistake or we’ve lost it. In reality, when you feel depressed, lonely, betrayed, or any unwanted feelings, this is an important moment on the spiritual path. This is where real transformation can take place.
As long as we’re caught up in always looking for certainty and happiness, rather than honoring the taste and smell and quality of exactly what is happening, as long as we’re always running away from discomfort, we’re going to be caught in a cycle of unhappiness and disappointment, and we will feel weaker and weaker. This way of seeing helps us to develop inner strength.
And what’s especially encouraging is the view that inner strength is available to us at just the moment when we think we’ve hit the bottom, when things are at their worst. Instead of asking ourselves, “How can I find security and happiness?” we could ask ourselves, “Can I touch the center of my pain? Can I sit with suffering, both yours and mine, without trying to make it go away? Can I stay present to the ache of loss or disgrace—disappointment in all its many forms—and let it open me?” This is the trick.
There are various ways to view what happens when we feel threatened. In times of distress—of rage, of frustration, of failure—we can look at how we get hooked and how shenpa escalates. The usual translation of shenpa is “attachment,” but this doesn’t adequately express the full meaning. I think of shenpa as “getting hooked.” Another definition, used by Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche, is the “charge”—the charge behind our thoughts and words and actions, the charge behind “like” and “don’t like.”
It can also be helpful to shift our focus and look at how we put up barriers. In these moments we can observe how we withdraw and become self-absorbed. We become dry, sour, afraid; we crumble, or harden out of fear that more pain is coming. In some old familiar way, we automatically erect a protective shield and our self-centeredness intensifies.
But this is the very same moment when we could do something different. Right on the spot, through practice, we can get very familiar with the barriers that we put up around our hearts and around our whole being. We can become intimate with just how we hide out, doze off, freeze up. And that intimacy, coming to know these barriers so well, is what begins to dismantle them. Amazingly, when we give them our full attention they start to fall apart.
Ultimately all the practices I have mentioned are simply ways we can go about dissolving these barriers. Whether it’s learning to be present through sitting meditation, acknowledging shenpa, or practicing patience, these are methods for dissolving the protective walls that we automatically put up.
When we’re putting up the barriers and the sense of “me” as separate from “you” gets stronger, right there in the midst of difficulty and pain, the whole thing could turn around simply by not erecting barriers; simply by staying open to the difficulty, to the feelings that you’re going through; simply by not talking to ourselves about what’s happening. That is a revolutionary step. Becoming intimate with pain is the key to changing at the core of our being—staying open to everything we experience, letting the sharpness of difficult times pierce us to the heart, letting these times open us, humble us, and make us wiser and more brave.
Let difficulty transform you. And it will. In my experience, we just need help in learning how not to run away.
If we’re ready to try staying present with our pain, one of the greatest supports we could ever find is to cultivate the warmth and simplicity of bodhichitta. The word bodhichitta has many translations, but probably the most common one is “awakened heart.” The word refers to a longing to wake up from ignorance and delusion in order to help others do the same. Putting our personal awakening in a larger—even planetary—framework makes a significant difference. It gives us a vaster perspective on why we would do this often difficult work.
There are two kinds of bodhichitta: relative and absolute. Relative bodhichitta includes compassion and maitri. Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche translated maitri as “unconditional friendliness with oneself.” This unconditional friendliness means having an unbiased relationship with all the parts of your being. So, in the context of working with pain, this means making an intimate, compassionate heart-relationship with all those parts of ourselves we generally don’t want to touch.
Some people find the teachings I offer helpful because I encourage them to be kind to themselves, but this does not mean pampering our neurosis. The kindness that I learned from my teachers, and that I wish so much to convey to other people, is kindness toward all qualities of our being. The qualities that are the toughest to be kind to are the painful parts, where we feel ashamed, as if we don’t belong, as if we’ve just blown it, when things are falling apart for us. Maitri means sticking with ourselves when we don’t have anything, when we feel like a loser. And it becomes the basis for extending the same unconditional friendliness to others.
If there are whole parts of yourself that you are always running from, that you even feel justified in running from, then you’re going to run from anything that brings you into contact with your feelings of insecurity.
And have you noticed how often these parts of ourselves get touched? The closer you get to a situation or a person, the more these feelings arise. Often when you’re in a relationship it starts off great, but when it gets intimate and begins to bring out your neurosis, you just want to get out of there.
So I’m here to tell you that the path to peace is right there, when you want to get away. You can cruise through life not letting anything touch you, but if you really want to live fully, if you want to enter into life, enter into genuine relationships with other people, with animals, with the world situation, you’re definitely going to have the experience of feeling provoked, of getting hooked, of shenpa. You’re not just going to feel bliss. The message is that when those feelings emerge, this is not a failure. This is the chance to cultivate maitri, unconditional friendliness toward your perfect and imperfect self.
Relative bodhichitta also includes awakening compassion. One of the meanings of compassion is “suffering with,” being willing to suffer with other people. This means that to the degree you can work with the wholeness of your being—your prejudices, your feelings of failure, your self-pity, your depression, your rage, your addictions—the more you will connect with other people out of that wholeness. And it will be a relationship between equals. You’ll be able to feel the pain of other people as your own pain. And you’ll be able to feel your own pain and know that it’s shared by millions.
Absolute bodhichitta, also known as shunyata, is the open dimension of our being, the completely wide-open heart and mind. Without labels of “you” and “me,” “enemy” and “friend,” absolute bodhichitta is always here. Cultivating absolute bodhichitta means having a relationship with the world that is nonconceptual, that is unprejudiced, having a direct, unedited relationship with reality.
That’s the value of sitting meditation practice. You train in coming back to the unadorned present moment again and again. Whatever thoughts arise in your mind, you regard them with equanimity and you learn to let them dissolve. There is no rejection of the thoughts and emotions that come up; rather, we begin to realize that thoughts and emotions are not as solid as we always take them to be.
It takes bravery to train in unconditional friendliness, it takes bravery to train in “suffering with,” it takes bravery to stay with pain when it arises and not run or erect barriers. It takes bravery to not bite the hook and get swept away. But as we do, the absolute bodhichitta realization, the experience of how open and unfettered our minds really are, begins to dawn on us. As a result of becoming more comfortable with the ups and the downs of our ordinary human life, this realization grows stronger.
We start with taking a close look at our predictable tendency to get hooked, to separate ourselves, to withdraw into ourselves and put up walls. As we become intimate with these tendencies, they gradually become more transparent, and we see that there’s actually space, there is unlimited, accommodating space. This does not mean that then you live in lasting happiness and comfort. That spaciousness includes pain.
We may still get betrayed, may still be hated. We may still feel confused and sad. What we won’t do is bite the hook. Pleasant happens. Unpleasant happens. Neutral happens. What we gradually learn is to not move away from being fully present. We need to train at this very basic level because of the widespread suffering in the world. If we aren’t training inch by inch, one moment at a time, in overcoming our fear of pain, then we’ll be very limited in how much we can help. We’ll be limited in helping ourselves, and limited in helping anybody else. So let’s start with ourselves, just as we are, here and now.
Excerpted from Practicing Peace in Times of War, by Pema Chödrön. © 2006 Pema
By Pema Chödrön
On a very basic level all beings think that they should be happy. When life becomes difficult or painful, we feel that something has gone wrong. This wouldn’t be a big problem except for the fact that when we feel something’s gone wrong, we’re willing to do anything to feel OK again. Even start a fight.
According to the Buddhist teachings, difficulty is inevitable in human life. For one thing, we cannot escape the reality of death. But there are also the realities of aging, of illness, of not getting what we want, and of getting what we don’t want. These kinds of difficulties are facts of life. Even if you were the Buddha himself, if you were a fully enlightened person, you would experience death, illness, aging, and sorrow at losing what you love. All of these things would happen to you. If you got burned or cut, it would hurt.
But the Buddhist teachings also say that this is not really what causes us misery in our lives. What causes misery is always trying to get away from the facts of life, always trying to avoid pain and seek happiness—this sense of ours that there could be lasting security and happiness available to us if we could only do the right thing.
In this very lifetime we can do ourselves and this planet a great favor and turn this very old way of thinking upside down. As Shantideva, author of Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, points out, suffering has a great deal to teach us. If we use the opportunity when it arises, suffering will motivate us to look for answers. Many people, including myself, came to the spiritual path because of deep unhappiness. Suffering can also teach us empathy for others who are in the same boat. Furthermore, suffering can humble us. Even the most arrogant among us can be softened by the loss of someone dear.
Yet it is so basic in us to feel that things should go well for us, and that if we start to feel depressed, lonely, or inadequate, there’s been some kind of mistake or we’ve lost it. In reality, when you feel depressed, lonely, betrayed, or any unwanted feelings, this is an important moment on the spiritual path. This is where real transformation can take place.
As long as we’re caught up in always looking for certainty and happiness, rather than honoring the taste and smell and quality of exactly what is happening, as long as we’re always running away from discomfort, we’re going to be caught in a cycle of unhappiness and disappointment, and we will feel weaker and weaker. This way of seeing helps us to develop inner strength.
And what’s especially encouraging is the view that inner strength is available to us at just the moment when we think we’ve hit the bottom, when things are at their worst. Instead of asking ourselves, “How can I find security and happiness?” we could ask ourselves, “Can I touch the center of my pain? Can I sit with suffering, both yours and mine, without trying to make it go away? Can I stay present to the ache of loss or disgrace—disappointment in all its many forms—and let it open me?” This is the trick.
There are various ways to view what happens when we feel threatened. In times of distress—of rage, of frustration, of failure—we can look at how we get hooked and how shenpa escalates. The usual translation of shenpa is “attachment,” but this doesn’t adequately express the full meaning. I think of shenpa as “getting hooked.” Another definition, used by Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche, is the “charge”—the charge behind our thoughts and words and actions, the charge behind “like” and “don’t like.”
It can also be helpful to shift our focus and look at how we put up barriers. In these moments we can observe how we withdraw and become self-absorbed. We become dry, sour, afraid; we crumble, or harden out of fear that more pain is coming. In some old familiar way, we automatically erect a protective shield and our self-centeredness intensifies.
But this is the very same moment when we could do something different. Right on the spot, through practice, we can get very familiar with the barriers that we put up around our hearts and around our whole being. We can become intimate with just how we hide out, doze off, freeze up. And that intimacy, coming to know these barriers so well, is what begins to dismantle them. Amazingly, when we give them our full attention they start to fall apart.
Ultimately all the practices I have mentioned are simply ways we can go about dissolving these barriers. Whether it’s learning to be present through sitting meditation, acknowledging shenpa, or practicing patience, these are methods for dissolving the protective walls that we automatically put up.
When we’re putting up the barriers and the sense of “me” as separate from “you” gets stronger, right there in the midst of difficulty and pain, the whole thing could turn around simply by not erecting barriers; simply by staying open to the difficulty, to the feelings that you’re going through; simply by not talking to ourselves about what’s happening. That is a revolutionary step. Becoming intimate with pain is the key to changing at the core of our being—staying open to everything we experience, letting the sharpness of difficult times pierce us to the heart, letting these times open us, humble us, and make us wiser and more brave.
Let difficulty transform you. And it will. In my experience, we just need help in learning how not to run away.
If we’re ready to try staying present with our pain, one of the greatest supports we could ever find is to cultivate the warmth and simplicity of bodhichitta. The word bodhichitta has many translations, but probably the most common one is “awakened heart.” The word refers to a longing to wake up from ignorance and delusion in order to help others do the same. Putting our personal awakening in a larger—even planetary—framework makes a significant difference. It gives us a vaster perspective on why we would do this often difficult work.
There are two kinds of bodhichitta: relative and absolute. Relative bodhichitta includes compassion and maitri. Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche translated maitri as “unconditional friendliness with oneself.” This unconditional friendliness means having an unbiased relationship with all the parts of your being. So, in the context of working with pain, this means making an intimate, compassionate heart-relationship with all those parts of ourselves we generally don’t want to touch.
Some people find the teachings I offer helpful because I encourage them to be kind to themselves, but this does not mean pampering our neurosis. The kindness that I learned from my teachers, and that I wish so much to convey to other people, is kindness toward all qualities of our being. The qualities that are the toughest to be kind to are the painful parts, where we feel ashamed, as if we don’t belong, as if we’ve just blown it, when things are falling apart for us. Maitri means sticking with ourselves when we don’t have anything, when we feel like a loser. And it becomes the basis for extending the same unconditional friendliness to others.
If there are whole parts of yourself that you are always running from, that you even feel justified in running from, then you’re going to run from anything that brings you into contact with your feelings of insecurity.
And have you noticed how often these parts of ourselves get touched? The closer you get to a situation or a person, the more these feelings arise. Often when you’re in a relationship it starts off great, but when it gets intimate and begins to bring out your neurosis, you just want to get out of there.
So I’m here to tell you that the path to peace is right there, when you want to get away. You can cruise through life not letting anything touch you, but if you really want to live fully, if you want to enter into life, enter into genuine relationships with other people, with animals, with the world situation, you’re definitely going to have the experience of feeling provoked, of getting hooked, of shenpa. You’re not just going to feel bliss. The message is that when those feelings emerge, this is not a failure. This is the chance to cultivate maitri, unconditional friendliness toward your perfect and imperfect self.
Relative bodhichitta also includes awakening compassion. One of the meanings of compassion is “suffering with,” being willing to suffer with other people. This means that to the degree you can work with the wholeness of your being—your prejudices, your feelings of failure, your self-pity, your depression, your rage, your addictions—the more you will connect with other people out of that wholeness. And it will be a relationship between equals. You’ll be able to feel the pain of other people as your own pain. And you’ll be able to feel your own pain and know that it’s shared by millions.
Absolute bodhichitta, also known as shunyata, is the open dimension of our being, the completely wide-open heart and mind. Without labels of “you” and “me,” “enemy” and “friend,” absolute bodhichitta is always here. Cultivating absolute bodhichitta means having a relationship with the world that is nonconceptual, that is unprejudiced, having a direct, unedited relationship with reality.
That’s the value of sitting meditation practice. You train in coming back to the unadorned present moment again and again. Whatever thoughts arise in your mind, you regard them with equanimity and you learn to let them dissolve. There is no rejection of the thoughts and emotions that come up; rather, we begin to realize that thoughts and emotions are not as solid as we always take them to be.
It takes bravery to train in unconditional friendliness, it takes bravery to train in “suffering with,” it takes bravery to stay with pain when it arises and not run or erect barriers. It takes bravery to not bite the hook and get swept away. But as we do, the absolute bodhichitta realization, the experience of how open and unfettered our minds really are, begins to dawn on us. As a result of becoming more comfortable with the ups and the downs of our ordinary human life, this realization grows stronger.
We start with taking a close look at our predictable tendency to get hooked, to separate ourselves, to withdraw into ourselves and put up walls. As we become intimate with these tendencies, they gradually become more transparent, and we see that there’s actually space, there is unlimited, accommodating space. This does not mean that then you live in lasting happiness and comfort. That spaciousness includes pain.
We may still get betrayed, may still be hated. We may still feel confused and sad. What we won’t do is bite the hook. Pleasant happens. Unpleasant happens. Neutral happens. What we gradually learn is to not move away from being fully present. We need to train at this very basic level because of the widespread suffering in the world. If we aren’t training inch by inch, one moment at a time, in overcoming our fear of pain, then we’ll be very limited in how much we can help. We’ll be limited in helping ourselves, and limited in helping anybody else. So let’s start with ourselves, just as we are, here and now.
Excerpted from Practicing Peace in Times of War, by Pema Chödrön. © 2006 Pema
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
April's Theme: ALIVENESS IN THE FACE OF STRUGGLE
The theme this month seemed to be joy! It was nice having Elizabeth join us for the support group. The alumni that attended were honest and open about the up and down struggles of their recovery process. The difference in their presentation was an aliveness in the face of the struggle.
FYI: We now have a Tapestry Alumni Group on Facebook.
If you would like to join, please click on the link above.
Next Alumni Support Group: Sunday, May 3rd, 4:00-5:30pm
FYI: We now have a Tapestry Alumni Group on Facebook.
If you would like to join, please click on the link above.
Next Alumni Support Group: Sunday, May 3rd, 4:00-5:30pm
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Online Support Group Opportunties
Greetings Alumni!
It is almost springtime! Can you feel the renewal in the air?
Tina and I had the opportunity to attend the International Association of Eating Disorder Professionals (iaedp) conference in Long Beach, CA this past month. It was inspiring to meet other people in the field and get new inspiration for helping people reclaim their lives from eating disorders. We met this vibrant woman named Shannon Cutts who recently published a book called "Beating Ana: How to Outsmart Your Eating Disorder and Take Your Life Back." Her tag line is "Relationships replace eating disorders." She states that mentoring saved her life. She created an online community for people in need of support to find a Mentor and for people who have made their way into recovery to continue their journey by becoming a Mentee. The website is called Mentor Connect, and I added a link to the community on the right hand side of this blog. This would be a great resource for the transition out of treatment to the "real world."
Are you all connected to other online support communities? Any that you find helpful? I could also add their links to this blog.
I would love to hear how folks are doing on their recovery journey on this Alumni page! Please post ;-)
It is almost springtime! Can you feel the renewal in the air?
Tina and I had the opportunity to attend the International Association of Eating Disorder Professionals (iaedp) conference in Long Beach, CA this past month. It was inspiring to meet other people in the field and get new inspiration for helping people reclaim their lives from eating disorders. We met this vibrant woman named Shannon Cutts who recently published a book called "Beating Ana: How to Outsmart Your Eating Disorder and Take Your Life Back." Her tag line is "Relationships replace eating disorders." She states that mentoring saved her life. She created an online community for people in need of support to find a Mentor and for people who have made their way into recovery to continue their journey by becoming a Mentee. The website is called Mentor Connect, and I added a link to the community on the right hand side of this blog. This would be a great resource for the transition out of treatment to the "real world."
Are you all connected to other online support communities? Any that you find helpful? I could also add their links to this blog.
I would love to hear how folks are doing on their recovery journey on this Alumni page! Please post ;-)
Saturday, March 14, 2009
EDA meeting change - location and time
The EDA meeting in Asheville has been moved to Swannanoa (Bee Tree Fire Station on Warren Wilson Rd). It now meets on Fridays from 7-8. You can call Kathy at 804-814-0712 or email kat98mcdonald@yahoo.com
Thursday, February 26, 2009
hey i grajiated today
yet another alumni has come into existence in the history of the tapshack...but its a bit different cuz i actually left 3 weeks ago and have been going back a couple times a week. how do i feel leaving? meh. ya know. ive had soo many goodbais in my life that im not worried. if i see the wonderful people at tapshack again i will be delighted and if not well we had a good run and im glad i crossed paths with everyone there...i learned that last year. clinging to goodbyes is one thing you can do or letting go and being grateful for what you have and what was is cool too. that is what i feel right now. i write more on a blog of my own www.blurrylines.wordpress.com if you are interested in that or another blog i have is www.youkersfoukers.blogspot.com (not focused on bulimia but just random thots and discussions i have with myself and sometimes others)...namaste
Sunday, January 11, 2009
January's Theme: THE IMPORTANCE OF THE PAUSE
First of all, I want to thank all alumni in attendance and all current residents for such a warm welcome to my first Alumni Support Group. I hope that as I get to know each of you, that you will feel comfortable giving me feedback, asking for my support, and letting me know what you need from me stylistically as far as the process of the group is concerned. I left feeling lucky to witness the honest and open sharing and support you provided.
One recurrant theme brought up by several in attendance was "What am I going to do next?". I was getting a general "looking forward" sense from most. This feels like an appropriate and maybe universally shared question, especially right after the chaos of the holidays and the start of the new year. As we each look within ourselves to figure out what we are going to do next, remember to pause. Pause and check-in with yourself to make sure that you're not making your plans based on "shoulds". The pauses needn't be long, but the more frequently we stop, scan and tune ourselves toward a more balanced state, the more we will be able to bring greater flow, sensitivity, wisdom, and care into the moments that follow.
Another thought that was brought up was the question of "What do I replace my Eating Disorder with as I recover?" One alum had a great recommendation. She has a basket with tiny slips of paper in it. On each slip is an alternate activity to engaging in ED behaviors that she enjoys. She selects one at random, and if she REALLY doesn't want to do it, she can select another one, but she goes ahead and does it. This short-circuits the ED chain reaction, and helps her get her mind and body engaged in an enjoyable activity. This discusion led into a discussion about the search for meaning. Great philosopher's have dedicated their lives to figuring out what the meaning of life is, leaving behind many different theories. Here is another opportunity to pause. To pause and sit in the "not knowing", in the discomfort, in the antsiness or emptiness that can trigger us. Within this pause is an enormous opportunity to harvest insights and apply them.
Over the next few weeks if you find yourself swept away with making plans, balancing alternate possibilities, or searching for something to quell antsiness, emptiness or other intense emotions, start by taking a moment to pause.
A quick reminder of FREE opportunities to connect with support groups in the Asheville area:
Monday nights: EDA at the Jefferson House next to the UU Church in Asheville 6-7pm (14 Edwin Place)
Tuesday nights: Yoga for Revitalization at THE Center (297 Haywood St.; sliding scale $5-$10)
Wednesday nights: Adult Support Group at THE Center 7-8pm
I look forward to seeing everyone again at the next Alumni Support Group, Sunday February 1, 4:00 - 5:30 pm
Lauren
One recurrant theme brought up by several in attendance was "What am I going to do next?". I was getting a general "looking forward" sense from most. This feels like an appropriate and maybe universally shared question, especially right after the chaos of the holidays and the start of the new year. As we each look within ourselves to figure out what we are going to do next, remember to pause. Pause and check-in with yourself to make sure that you're not making your plans based on "shoulds". The pauses needn't be long, but the more frequently we stop, scan and tune ourselves toward a more balanced state, the more we will be able to bring greater flow, sensitivity, wisdom, and care into the moments that follow.
Another thought that was brought up was the question of "What do I replace my Eating Disorder with as I recover?" One alum had a great recommendation. She has a basket with tiny slips of paper in it. On each slip is an alternate activity to engaging in ED behaviors that she enjoys. She selects one at random, and if she REALLY doesn't want to do it, she can select another one, but she goes ahead and does it. This short-circuits the ED chain reaction, and helps her get her mind and body engaged in an enjoyable activity. This discusion led into a discussion about the search for meaning. Great philosopher's have dedicated their lives to figuring out what the meaning of life is, leaving behind many different theories. Here is another opportunity to pause. To pause and sit in the "not knowing", in the discomfort, in the antsiness or emptiness that can trigger us. Within this pause is an enormous opportunity to harvest insights and apply them.
Over the next few weeks if you find yourself swept away with making plans, balancing alternate possibilities, or searching for something to quell antsiness, emptiness or other intense emotions, start by taking a moment to pause.
A quick reminder of FREE opportunities to connect with support groups in the Asheville area:
Monday nights: EDA at the Jefferson House next to the UU Church in Asheville 6-7pm (14 Edwin Place)
Tuesday nights: Yoga for Revitalization at THE Center (297 Haywood St.; sliding scale $5-$10)
Wednesday nights: Adult Support Group at THE Center 7-8pm
I look forward to seeing everyone again at the next Alumni Support Group, Sunday February 1, 4:00 - 5:30 pm
Lauren
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